Letter to Meg,
Of course I always called you Margaret, I never liked your name shortened but everyone did it even your mum, so I guess I ended up doing it too.
I never liked you much when I first met you, probably because you encroached on my small click of friends and I saw you as a threat! God knows why- girls are such foolish things....
Anyway we became friends, you lived close by, just around the corner so we would bike / walk together to intermediate and college and back. You loved art and where so terribly terribly bright so much brainer than me. You had a much better study ethic than me sometimes when I turned up (especially at exam time your mum would fix me with a bit of a steely gaze) but she needn't have worried you where to bright to be deterred by me! I remember you had the first Elton John record that I ever heard and James Taylor. Then came the Bay City Rollers we where so mad for them, made up stories about them, drew pictures of them, went to their concert together in Christchurch stood outside their hotel room screaming at every quiver of a curtain. Good times! Then came Rod Stewart -all the go even then. Then you went to Auckland first for school then to live, I went nursing but we still stayed in contact, you had a boyfriend- I didn't. Then I got married you where my bridesmaid - of course you where- you where my oldest friend. I had started a family by this stage and went to Australia to live. But that didn't matter our lives rolled along separate but usually catching up with each other every so often, at some stage you came home to live, determined to give your art a go, then when I came home after mums death I rang your mum and she said you weren't well you had been very depressed suicidal in-fact but was on the way to recovery- finally diagnosed bipolar. I couldn't believe it. I felt everyone I knew was disintegrating around me- selfish of course- but then when we talked you where the same really, you smoked a lot and I could never understand why you seemed so independent so insulated you never seemed to need a partner, and you loved your cats.
I went to Australia to live again this time for five years and got letters from you, when we moved back I must admit I got caught up with childcare and full time work and we lost touch, then one evening at work I was reading the paper and saw your mums death notice. I didn't think- I rang you straight away, we had known each other such a long time you see of course I did, and then the last time I talked to you, was after you had moved to Westport and you had found out my dad had died. We chatted for a hour, was good to talk just like old times.
Now that was a long time ago, 6 years in fact, 2 years ago my daughter moved to Westport and I drove around your street, knocking on doors even, looking for you (you weren't in the phonebook) but no one had ever heard of you.
I didn't find this that strange really because you had always been a very private person, very independent.
Then on and off I would look for you in the white pages /face book or on the internet, but no luck.
7 months ago I moved to live by the sea in Otago, and yesterday J and I where driving to a friend of his place in halfway bush and to get there we drove past a beautiful old stone fence and on the entranceway I saw a notice Ashburn Hall, now suddenly I thought of you Meg because I knew that when you had been really ill your family had sent you here as a last ditch attempt to get you well and I think they where the ones (I may be wrong here) that came up with the bi polar diagnosis and set you on your long road to recovery.
Anyway you where in my thoughts and when I got home I started trawling the internet yet again, suddenly there in-front of me was your sisters e mail address, she e mailed me back this afternoon.
You died 2 years ago of ovarian cancer, you where only 49 maybe 50. You had a partner, and lived in the Lyell until your death. I cannot say how this saddened me, of your death, you where too too young but of the fact we had lost touch so long ago and I didn't get to say goodbye... I was pleased you had people that loved you around you at the end. You where a talented, good person, another link of the past thats gone but that is just selfish.. To be a friend you have to put in the hard yards, go that extra mile and I didn't really with you I didn't make that effort when I could of and for that I will always be regretful....
RIP dear Meg, dear old friend.
