Lost blog

All the posts I've made in the last few weeks where lost cos I stupidly signed out of my blog and then forgot my e mail address that i had created to start it oh well got it back or most of it I hope..

TUESDAY, 26 JUNE 2012

Pairings

I read this today and loved it so much not only for the beauty of the words but also for its truthfulness....

Often, during my (many) moments of people watching, I pay particular attention to couples. What was it that drew them to each other; what keeps them together? Over the years I've seen friends and family un-couple and re-couple. I've done the same myself. Sometimes it's a mystery why one individual is chosen over another. But a greater mystery to me is this deep need to move through life with another person. At times it seems that being in a pair demands more than it gives; times when love can be hard to summon. Times, to be honest, especially with the conflicting needs of family life, when a relationship seems less a matter of love than a practical arrangement. There is no hiding in a long relationship; all one's flaws are exposed and tested, over and again. To know someone utterly is to be known, and the vulnerability that comes with that sometimes overwhelms me.  

But to be willing to endure this exposure, endure all the compromise and contingencies and uncertainties that moving through life with another person involves, is to me what love is. To love someone despite, as well as because. To ask 'would I do it again?' and be able to answer yes. Yes. What more?

SUNDAY, 24 JUNE 2012

Midwinter festival

Last night we took ourselves into Dunedin for the 2nd time to watch the parade of the lanterns in the octagon for the annual mid winter festival (it had been rained out on the previous night). But it was well worth the return trip, so magical, all those little kids with their lanterns pleased as punch with themselves, but most of all so nice to do things together. Things like that would have always been shelved before because of always working or always been too tired from working to do anything motivated outside the house. Anyway basically nice to have a life again. Afterwards we went to my daughters and I cooked up my famous chicken curry that was so yum and warming and we sat and watched Friends re runs on a dvd sets she'd just bought back from Asia.

All in all was a lovely night. We headed off home and gave the fire a hurry up and sat and watched midsommer murders- bliss for a cosy end to a mid winters evening.

MONDAY, 18 JUNE 2012

Daughters

I have two daughters.
My oldest L is 28 and the mother to 4 littlies. She (and always has been) a passionate individual, highly strung and wears her heart on her sleeve. Sometimes her mouth doesn't quite have a filter when it should, although she has learnt as she got older, and she has developed more tack. Her most unfortunate habit is she is a terrible worrier and she uses who is closest to her as her sounding board so she often is guilty of sharing whatever has been she's her then sailing off feeling, 'Oh so much better' but leaving the recipient i.e: me or her husband N, a blithering mess. Anyway you always know where you stand with her and we share a love of cooking and she is generous to a fault and also intrinsically honest. Even though sometimes she frustrates the hell out of me, I also love her to bits.
K is my baby although she is 24 now, she has always seemed older and calmer and more mature somehow. She has been much more independent of home from an earlier age. She isn't a great finisher but has a great work ethic and loves loves fashion. She is very involved with her boyfriend to the point of not really having many interests of her own, which I must admit worries me at times. She also holds her cards very close to her chest or thinks she does, but actually I find her very easy to read. She is funny, kind and sweet. And I love her to bits too.
As you can read two very different individuals my daughters, but oh how I love them and am so proud of them in their different ways.

SUNDAY, 17 JUNE 2012

Weekend slow down

Just had some builders here doing a job that we ear marked 3 months ago, anyway good to have it finally done. I find I really have to force myself to be sociable these days especially on my own turf (so to speak) I love having the house to myself and see any intrusion as just that-a intrusion. But no man is an island and I actually enjoy the company when it arrives, I just wouldn't actively seek it out. To much like my good old da for my own good..
We had a really lovely weekend so nice just to muck around and spend time doing stuff, my back is a lot better (thank god).

So on sat morning we went into the markets- very briefly and then on the way home decided to head up signal hill road (J had been working on a house about half way up earlier in the week) And was impressed how nice it was- but when we got to the top woah...we where just blown away! The view was awe inspiring and on that clear, crisp, windless morning you could see every corner of that city we have moved to and now love... And understand why.

TUESDAY, 12 JUNE 2012

Blackwater woods

My own blackwater woods no longer accessable because the track was washed away in the floods. But still so so beautiful..

In Blackwater Woods

Look, the trees

are turning

their own bodies

into pillars

of light,

are giving off the rich

fragrance of cinnamon

and fulfillment,

the long tapers

of cattails

are bursting and floating away over

the blue shoulders

of the ponds,

and every pond,

no matter what its

name is, is

nameless now.

Every year

everything

I have ever learned

in my lifetime

leads back to this: the fires

and the black river of loss

whose other side

is salvation,

whose meaning

none of us will ever know.

To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to hold it

against your bones knowing

your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(American Primative)

 

Web archive of Panhala post

Fridge

Used to have this on my fridge, was true then and is still true now

Sore Back

Its been bitterly cold the last few days. But despite that late yesterday, I decided in a fit of energy (had been hugging the fire all day.) That I would go out and plant the garlic and plants I had got in town the day before. All started off OK but a few minutes after starting on the garlic realised that my back was not feeling that great, anyway struggled on and planted out broccoli and then in the small garden by the house planted some primroses and a Christmas lily or two. Very pleased with myself but oh my lord my back, we are talking can't roll over in bed type paralysis. Anyway new morning new day slightly better this am but will take some anti inflammatory I think. J wasn't that well in the night either but has scurried off too work this morning so hope he's OK.

SATURDAY, 9 JUNE 2012

Vege garden

Vege garden part one up and running we nailed together 4 macarapa sleepers and filled them with compost mix and pea straw and planted our first seedlings, of course we need so much more but good to get started. Will post a photo when I get around to down loading one. Then we cleaned out the garage and finally (Yay!) emptied out the spare room of the remaining boxes and put them in the shed also. So good to have the extra space. In this tiny house every spare inch extra is a bonus!

FRIDAY, 8 JUNE 2012

Plans for the day

Now I'm unemployed, there is a certain amount of thumb twiddling that seems to come into its own during the day. Not that I mind but I just don't want to fritter the hours (days) away, as I feel as if I have done enough of that in my life already. Nor do I want to spend my days cooking or eating the proceeds of that cooking, two activities I love, but never know when to stop. Talking of which  I ordered the vegetarian cookbook 'Plenty' last night off fishpond so much cheaper than the shops and no freight charge. Anyway back to the plans, walk the dogs, that's a given can't get away with out that one, maybe some gardening (day shaping up to be not so mind numbingly cold.) Definitely some reading and maybe a visit to blueskin nursery to get some plants! Our garden is a complete blank canvas so will be great to create and nurture it into a productive beautiful place

Cold day at home

Been a really cold blast hit the country over night, the weather has mainly hit Christchurch and the mid south island. I took the dogs for a walk on the beach and could see the snow on the far off hills. Snug inside later on with the fire blazing, makes me love the fact I no longer work.
Mind you in say that the woman at the shop 'kind of' offered me a job, funny eh? People seem so friendly here or maybe I'm just more open to there friendliness

Holidays and a death in the family

Back from Westport and of course caught the obligatory cold/ flu from the cheekies. Had a good weekend J drove up on Friday and I drove back with him yesterday, horrible to leave those sad little faces behind.

A terrible thing happened a couple of nights before I left for the coast, our beloved black Lab Jess died suddenly. My husband was inconsolable he loved that dog so much, and even though we have 2 other dogs her loss has left a huge hole.

This photo is of her trying to fit into a very small dog basket belonging to one of the other dogs, typical big softie behaviour and she was a big softie our Jessie girl. We buried her out on the reserve looking out to the ducks and the sea she loved so much, 

RIP Jess.

Just a quick word because I'm going away for a week, many things I want to write about and say but have neither the time or energy right now, sorry if I say dismissive and you might ask why bother to even start a blog when you are going away, but that's me I like to make things complicated. I am going to see my cheekies , my babies, my beloved grandchildren and my daughter