Home Alone

His nibs has gone hunting so I'm home alone. Something I used to love but now not so much, probably because even when he is here I pretty much feel home alone also. The last few years I  have come to realise a couple of things, one, J is a good person (well I've always known that). But in some ways he so the most selfish person I know. He thinks of me of course-sometimes when it penetrates whatever mindset he is on at that moment, I know this but his mind is so one track that at times I wonder if he hears what I say at all. I think this is often the problem at work too. In all the years I've known him he has never held down a job for any length of time always some reason behind him leaving - ran out of work, dickheads in charge, (been a few of those the last few years). Anyway the difference has been I've always worked to take up the slack. But this time is different this time I'm not working and he's been given the boot from this last place, the people seemed OK, but the letters they have sent out are personal and ridiculous, he's better off out of there. I must have changed because the stress would have just about sent me spaz a few years ago but I honestly don't care anymore as long as I have enough money to  get a coffee in town I'm not to worried about every thing else (thought a new pair of shoes would be nice)! My course starts soon and I'm devoting myself too it entirely.  He says he's going to go to Christchurch to do this course and work, he's lined up accommodation but I honestly don't see him lasting, but I may be wrong. I have realised at long last in this life you can not change or live another persons life for them, you can give advice if asked, you can help them out in other ways, but you cannot change who they are, and the best thing I've learnt in the last few years is to try and not let it affect me.